Life’s Surprises
We all know that hearing loss is common among the elderly. But I never realized exactly how common. More than a third of everyone aged 65 and above suffered from it and I was stunned to learn that more than half of everyone aged 75 and above does too. That means that by the time you reach that age you are more likely to have hearing loss than not.
And I know this will seem silly, but I bet it’s more common than not, too. What surprised me is that I got old. Of course my whole life I knew old people: my grandparents and their friends, the neighbors. But it never occurred to me that it might someday happen to me. I learned that you never reach a single moment at which it is suddenly all revealed to you: You got old. It was just a little at a time, recognizing changes in my body and admitting they were real and accepting what they meant.
I Thought I Knew
I had a cousin growing up who was deaf, so I thought that I knew about these things. She was born with a congenital condition so I knew that hearing troubles affected people of all ages. But I thought it was very rare. This was a long time ago now, so things were much different back then. People with disabilities were treated differently and the prevalence of education was a lot different back then, so I did not know much except for my cousin’s experience. She married a deaf man so I just assumed that is how things went. And I never gave it much thought.
Of course I know all the same stereotypes as everyone else about old people struggling to adapt to their senses failing them. But like most people I guess, I always just took my own health for granted. I was lucky enough that I never had reason not to. My own kids were toddlers and before I knew it they were leaving for college and then they had kids of their own. But though all those changes it never really hit me that I had gotten old. I can still remember walking to school as a little girl so vividly. And the excitement of going to my first dance and my first day at my first real job after college.
I worked hard every day since then to provide for my family as best I could. I never had much energy left at the end of the day to get interested in much else. I certainly never gave my own health or well-being much thought. I enjoyed nothing more than spending time with my family.
But things change. Stress in the lives of my loved ones caused me anxiety. Health scares, job problems, common things. But these common things create big changes, and eventually I was living on my own again and it was all so much to adapt to.
When my kids came by, our visits felt hurried and distracted. Everyone seemed to mumble and talk too fast. They felt they had to shout to be heard over the TV. Articulating in such an exaggerated manner made our conversations clumsy and unnatural. The disappointment crushed me after every one of their visits and this increased my feelings of isolation and frustration. My depression increased and each day became more difficult than the day before.
Everything Changed With One Simple Decision
Then my son talked me into getting a hearing test. Seeing an objective assessment of the damage I’d been enduring was revelatory. There was no doubt I needed hearing aids and that investment changed my life. My family is more comfortable visiting because the TV is not on so loud. We can talk at normal volumes and a normal pace and all the almost imperceptible subtleties of communicating rushed back and renewed our relationships.
We could share observations and jokes again. And this revitalized my self-esteem. And this motivated me to take better care of myself. I enjoyed going out again. I became inspired to plan fun activities.
And most importantly I have been able to connect with my grandchildren like never before.
Take time out for a hearing test today. None of that stuff in your busy schedule possibly means as much as guaranteeing your own well-being.